You don't know what you got til it's gone.

the other day I was hanging out feeling horrible of what I did. I couldn't eat or sleep. Eventually the gang forced me to eat saying it will get easier to hurt people and feel no guilt at all. That didn't make me feel better. One of the guys told me that Ari wanted to meet us at five yesterday. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to talk to her. But the guys forced me to go. We met her there and she was looking mad as ever. "Hey" I said in a week voice. She glared at me. "Hey" she spat at me. I looked back at the guys and told them I wanted to be alone with her. They understood and left. "What have you gotten yourself into? I didn't teach you how to fight so you could beat up my cousin's best friend and his girlfriend." she said. I just stood there with my head down. "I asked you a question!" she shouted. I looked at her. She punched me across the face. I put my hand to my face. Warm blood was dripping from my cheek. Then she slammed me into a a brick wall and lifted me up by the collar. "Fine just beat me up. I don't care anymore. I deserve it." I said. Ari let go of my collar and looked at me confused. I closed my eyes waiting for the beating of a life time. But it didn't come. I opened my eyes. "Brian....." she said. "Yes?" I responed. "Was it worth it? Was it worth it to hurt the people that took you in?" she asked.I didn't answer. "Do you like what you have become?" she said. I looked at her. "and I'm sorry" she said. "for what?" I asked. "For this." she said as she kicked me in the shin, punched me in the stomach, slamed me to the ground, and took out a taxer abd tazered me. She walked away. I got up and walked to the beach. I looked at my reflection. I didn't reconize it at first. No it wasn't worth it. No I don't like what i've become. I picked myself up and walked to the north side of town. I pasted some greasers that gave me glares. I finally made it to the Curtis house, where I knocked on the door. Darry Curtis answered. "what do you want?" he spat at me. "I need to talk to Ponyboy" I answered. "Fine but make it quick and don't try anything soc" he said as he led me inside. "pony get over here!" he yelled. Ponyboy walked over. He stopped and asked,"What is HE doing here?" "I want to talk to you." I said. "Fine" he told me. We sat down on the front porch. "look I'm sorry for what I did. I don't like what I've become. I made a huge mistake and I want to make it up to you." I told him. He looked at me blankly. "Im serrious. Just tell me some thing you want me to do,I'll do it." I said. "well........there is one thing......"